When I wrote yesterday about time pressure killing my curiosity I didn’t necessarily expect to have to pull myself up short today already, but I did.
I had an appointment at 9 a.m., which may seem like a completely respectable hour, but I have jet-lag and a dog to walk, and I need breakfast or I keel over at 10 o’clock at the latest. This all meant that I needed to get up at 7 a.m., which was about 2 a.m. according to my body and mind, and even that didn’t really allow enough time for everything I needed to do. On top of that the weather wasn’t very friendly today (snow, rain, general grayness) and the people on the streets were pretty grumpy.
So, I staggered out of my door with my dog and started to walk to the park. On the way we have to negotiate what I consider the smallest and yet busiest corner in all Vienna, near a tram stop. It was the beginning of rush hour and a tram was just disgorging its passengers. To complicate things, one young woman had decided that this corner was the perfect place to light a cigarette—never mind the 15 to 20 people who were trying to get around her without stepping into the busy street. Several of them looked askance at me with my dog as if we were causing the bottleneck, and I almost exploded. (It goes pretty quickly when the conditions are right.)
The rest of the walk was not one of our more pleasurable outings and ended with me essentially dragging my poor dog home so that I would have some time to eat something (and, above all, drink some tea). At the breakfast table I took some time to recall how I would really like to live. Hint: It doesn’t include dragging in high dudgeon a poor innocent dog down the street by his leash or thinking hateful thoughts about everyone walking by.
I did the Energy Re-Direct (see below), an exercise that has served me extremely well over the years and did not let me down this time. By the time I was walking out the door to my appointment, I was once again more open to, just a wee bit curious about, what was to come.
The Energy Re-Direct
From Dr. Christiane Northrup’s book, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.
- Describe what you are feeling. (Grumpy, tired, irritated.)
- Acknowledge that there is a reason you are feeling that way. (There is a reason I’m feeling this way.)
- Name the reason(s). (I am short on sleep and time and am aware that I probably should have gotten up earlier to avoid at least the time pressure.)
- Ask yourself what you want. (What do you want?)
- Name what you want. (I want to take a step back and relax and encounter the day with openness and curiosity.)
- Tell yourself you have the power to get what you want and that you are worth it. (I have the power to get that and I am worth it.)
- Get back to what you were doing. (I finished my tea and got ready to go.)