I am lucky enough to be spending this Easter weekend with good friends in their country house. This means lots of talk, lots of interested listening (which I consider a form of curiosity), but not yet a lot of Inquiry.
The last few days I have once again become aware of a pattern of mine, something I must have learned as good conversational skills. When someone tells about an experience I scan my experience to see if I can meet their story with one of my own. That makes it sound as if I could be competing with them. “Oh, you had that experience? Well, I had this one.” But I don’t mean it that way. I mean it far more as a kind of empathic “Oh, I understand. I had a similar experience.” Still, it is one thing that stands in the way of asking questions about someone’s experiences and learning about the conclusions they draw from that. In other words it is a habit that stands in the way of practicing Inquiry.
As leadership trainer and author John E. Jones said, “Awareness precedes choice.” Now I have a choice. Let’s see how I do.