One thing I have become acutely aware of over the last few days, partly because I write this blog, is that my first reaction to almost anything is worry. My dog makes a funny move or sound. What’s wrong with him? Do we need to go to the vet’s? A client called and didn’t leave a message. Are they canceling the workshop? Or I haven’t heard from my mother in 12 hours or so. Is she all right?
A few years ago I did a questionnaire on personal strengths in the context of a course I was teaching and this aspect–they called it “Strategic” instead of worrying–came out as my number one strength. What the report said more precisely, among other things, was “Instinctively, you usually identify problems others fail to notice.” (You can imagine how popular this makes me in brainstorming sessions, for example. It’s a really useful trait but not much fun for anyone. ;-))
I’m sure that if I could react with more curiosity rather than worry–“I wonder where this will take me/us?” rather than “Help! That’s going to fail for sure!”–I would have less stress and all the good stuff I laid out in my hypothesis. But I’m beginning to wonder if that can be learned. Sigh. And onward.